


Sammy

by CR Noble (erudite12)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Demon Blood Addiction, Gen, Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-22 01:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11370132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erudite12/pseuds/CR%20Noble
Summary: This is inspired by the song Jenny by Nothing More. So, I took some liberties and changed some relevant lyrics to reflect that this is about Sam, not about some girl named Jenny. I hope you guys enjoy the angsty angst. Lyrics are in italics.





	Sammy

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by the song Jenny by Nothing More. So, I took some liberties and changed some relevant lyrics to reflect that this is about Sam, not about some girl named Jenny. I hope you guys enjoy the angsty angst. Lyrics are in italics.

_A little sleep, a little slumber_

_A little folding of the hands_

_Left you weak, left you hungry_

_When there’s supply you still demand_

“Ruby,” Sam whispered harshly into the cell phone, “I need more now. I’m out.” He was sitting on the edge of the dingy tub in the bathroom of a motel room he and Dean were sharing. As far as he knew, Dean was sleeping with the magic fingers on the other side of the door. Sam was pale, and had a massive headache. He was starting to sweat. It had been too long.

“Just meet me there in an hour,” he said into the phone, exasperated. He gave Ruby the address of a local diner and hung up the phone. He stood as he tucked it into his pocket and then opened the bathroom door. Dean was standing on the other side.

_You’re beginning to drag the ones you love down_

_Will this phase ever end?_

_A thousand arms to hold you_

_But you won’t reach for any hands_

Dean knew something was going on with Sam, he just wasn’t sure what. He’d heard Sam having a whispered conversation in the motel bathroom, and the guilty look on his face spoke volumes.

“What’s going on, Sam?” Dean asked, a suspicious smile on his face.

Sam tried to hide his guilt, but failed miserably.

“Just taking a piss,” he said. He pushed past Dean to walk across the motel room and grab his jacket.

“Could’ve sworn I heard you talking to someone,” Dean said. He didn’t move from the bathroom’s doorway, just looked over his shoulder.

“Oh, yeah,” Sam added, “an old friend called.”

“And you were talking to them in the bathroom?” Dean turned around now, glaring at Sam.

“Yeah. I thought you were asleep.” Sam put an arm into one of the sleeves of his jacket. “Didn’t want to bother you.”

Dean nodded, but he sure as hell didn’t believe a word that was coming out of Sam’s mouth.

Sam had his jacket on and was heading for the door of the motel room.

“Where you going?”

“I’m hungry. I’m gonna go grab a bite to eat. Do you want anything?”

“Nah, I’m good.” Dean watched him walk out the door, and waited a few minutes before following him.

  _Maybe you should just fall_

_And leave the world and lose it all_

_And if that’s what you need_

_To finally see_

_I’ll be with you through it all_

What the hell was he thinking? Sam mentally reprimanded himself for what he was doing, but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t tell Dean, especially not after his time in Hell. He wouldn’t understand. Sam was just trying to do something good. He had to find Lillith. That was the only thing that mattered to him now. He needed the demon blood to do that. He was going to need the demon blood to kill her.

Sam stood at the corner of the diner’s building and waited for Ruby. He was early, but she would be there soon. It was cold, even in the thick canvas jacket he wore, and he couldn’t stand still anymore. He was too antsy, so he started pacing from the corner to the door of the diner and back. Only moments passed, but to him it felt like hours. Where the hell was Ruby? He was trembling now, and it had nothing to do with the cold. He continued to pace, as nausea twisted his stomach and he fisted his hands and shoved them in his jacket pockets to hide the shaking. When he saw her walking across the parking lot toward him, he breathed a sigh of relief.

“I was starting to think you weren’t going to show,” Sam said softly. His voice shook slightly. “Where is it?”

“Whoa there, cowboy. Slow down,” Ruby said. She put her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. “What happened to polite conversation?”

Sam looked down at her, trying to control the tremors that were spreading through his body.

“Are you serious?” he asked. “Just hand it over, Ruby.” He stuck a hand out toward her. “I don’t have time for this. I gotta get back to the motel room before Dean thinks something’s wrong.”

“Whatever, Sam,” Ruby replied, rolling her eyes, “just don’t forget how important it is for you to take down Lillith. Don’t let worrying about Dean distract you.” She pulled a small vial out of her pocket and placed it in his hand before turning around and walking back across the parking lot without a word.

* * *

Dean watched the exchange from a spot where he knew they wouldn’t see him. He didn’t know what Ruby had given Sam, and he hadn’t heard any of the conversation, but he knew Sam was hiding something from him. That was never good. Why the hell wouldn’t Sam just talk to him? Why couldn’t Sam just trust him? He had to know that Dean knew something was going on, and that eventually Dean would figure it out. It would make so much more sense to skip over all the lying and just come out with it.

Dean kept watching as Ruby walked back across the parking lot, and Sam examined whatever she had given him before ducking around the corner of the diner where Dean couldn’t see him anymore. He came back into Dean’s line of sight a moment later, and started walking back in the direction of the motel. Dean turned and left, as well. He had to get back to the motel before Sam did.

_Self-destruct, spiral down_

_Until your want becomes your need_

_Please get up like I know you can_

_Or forever love the fall_

Dean couldn’t believe what he was watching. The events leading up to this moment had been crazy, even for them, but none of that could have prepared him for what he was seeing right now. Castiel, being hosted by Jimmy Novak’s daughter, stood beside him, watching as Sam drank the blood of one of the demons that had attacked them. Blood dripped down his chin and soaked the front of his shirt. It was disgusting. Sam had become some kind of monster. It all made sense. No wonder Sam hadn’t wanted to tell Dean what he was doing. It was like he didn’t even remember that Dean was there, watching him.

When Sam looked up and reached toward him, Dean flinched away from him before realizing that Amelia, or the demon possessing her, was sneaking up behind him. Judging from the fierce look of concentration on his face and the black smoke draining from Amelia’s mouth, Sam was using his psychic powers to exorcise the demon. Dean didn’t really pay too much attention to anything that happened after that. He couldn’t stop thinking about Sam sucking the blood out of that demon’s neck. Neither of them spoke as they headed back to their motel room. Sam got cleaned up, and Dean sent a text to Bobby explaining the situation.

_I can’t stand to see you down_

_Strung out, off the wagon, and unwound_

_But steady, steady, Oh God, Sammy, Sammy_

_I can’t bear to hear the sound_

_Of your body, body hitting the ground_

It was killing Dean to see his baby brother like this, but what else could he do? He and Bobby locked Sam into the panic room to detox, and as hard as it was to listen to Sam’s screams, they weren’t letting him out until he was clean. Dean had tried to talk to him a few times through peephole in the door, but it was like Sam was a completely different person. All he cared about was getting more demon blood, and killing Lillith.

Dean knew that killing her was a priority, but he wasn’t going to let his brother turn into a monster to get it done. He took solace in a fifth of whiskey, and waited for the quiet moments when Sam’s screams stopped for a while. Dean assumed that those short moments were the only time that Sam actually slept instead of hallucinating. All he could do was hope that this would end soon, because he wasn’t sure how much more Sam could take. Honestly, Dean was pretty sure he couldn’t take much more of this himself.

_See your brother here, his last painful year_

_I wish you only knew…_

_He stuck around for you_

_He stuck around for you_

“Sam!” Dean screamed, as he banged on the doors of the convent’s chapel. That bitch Ruby had shut the doors on him, and he couldn’t get through. “Sammy! You gotta stop, Sam. You can’t kill Lillith! Sammy!”

The doors suddenly flew open, and Dean took the scene in quickly. Lillith was dead, and Sam was arguing with Ruby. Sam looked up as Dean stormed through the doors, demon knife in his hand.

“You’re too late, Dean,” she said, with an almost sycophantic euphoria on her face.

“I don’t care,” he said. He drew his arm back, and Sam must have seen his intention, because he grabbed Ruby by the arms and held her in place as Dean drove the demon blade into her chest.

“Dean, I’m sorry,” Sam said, letting go of Ruby’s body and letting it fall unceremoniously to the floor.

“We gotta get out of here, Sam.” Dean grabbed Sam’s arm and tried to pull him toward.

“This is all my fault,” Sam said, “He’s coming, and it’s my fault.”

“Sam, none of that matters right now. We can figure it out later. We have got to get out of here.”

_I’ll be with you through it all_


End file.
